It is always heartbreaking when a young life is lost. Twenty‑four‑year‑old paramedic Rebecca McLellan died by suicide, and a note she left behind was later read at her inquest.
Keep reading to learn more.
Earlier this week, an inquest into the death of Ipswich paramedic Rebecca McLellan began at the Suffolk Coroners’ Court. She was found dead in her home in November 2023 after failing to show up for her shift with the East of England Ambulance Service, prompting concern from colleagues. It was determined that McLellan likely died by suicide.
Her mother described her as a “loving person,” “sensitive,” “kind,” and “fiercely loyal,” someone known for standing up for others.
She had always dreamed of becoming a paramedic, but even after achieving that goal and dedicating herself to helping others, she continued to struggle with her mental health. Things became more difficult after she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Her mother shared that in the year leading up to her death, she had become “a shadow of herself.” Evidence presented at the inquest showed that McLellan’s mental health had been deteriorating. She received 18 therapy sessions with psychotherapist Darren Monsigneur through her job at the ambulance service.
Monsigneur described her as being at “high risk” for suicide. He offered to continue treating her pro bono, but she declined. She also saw psychiatrist Dr. Kavitha Devarajan for four sessions, with their final appointment taking place in September 2023.
In her handwritten statement, she expressed deep frustration with the mental health system, writing about her dissatisfaction with the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust (NSFT) and her repeated, unsuccessful attempts to reach them.
A video shown at the inquest captured McLellan at an NSFT clinic in Ipswich, asking to speak with a mental health practitioner. The receptionist told her no one was available and warned that security would be called if she did not leave.
In a letter she wrote, McLellan described the hopelessness she felt: “People can survive pretty much everything as long as they can see an end in sight. Unfortunately for me, I cannot. All I can do is wait for the inevitable fall again.”
She continued, “I miss the person I used to be. Unfortunately, that girl is long gone. I’ve been running this race for a little too long, and now my legs are tired.”
She ended her letter with, “I know there are those out there who love me, and to those people I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all tremendously. Please know that I tried. I really did.”
More details about McLellan’s life and struggles emerged as the inquest continued.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. You can call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org anytime in the U.S. and Canada. The service is free, confidential, and available 24/7.
This is a deeply heartbreaking event. We can only hope that in the future, tragedies like this can be prevented by ensuring people receive the support they need.
